Results aren't important?

Since the forum has been dead lately, I thought I would throw in some food for thought.

Today, one of my salesmen tried to convince me that results weren't important and high expectations lead to low employee satisfaction. He said his previous employer set the bar lower and the employees were happier. His contention was that companies who pushed to be the best and employees who were given high expectations were less happy.  Of course he went on to tell me that his previous company went out of business, but I digress.

I knew this discussion was a somewhat arbitrary attempt to justify his sub-par performance over he last few years but I couldn't help but wonder if there was something in his upbringing that lead to his preference to underperform. Curious, and before letting him go, I dug a little deeper.

As it turns out, my hunch was right. Mr Underachiever, as I will call him, had participation trophy parents who convinced him that winning wasn't important and trying to play at the highest level was a recipe for unhappiness. As a young standout baseball player he was often recruited to play on higher level teams but his parents convinced him that players who push that hard aren't as happy. Those weren't his exact words, he described it more as being better than most of the players on top teams but not having to put up with the pressures of playing on their teams, but either way his explanation of sports paralleled his views on employment.

These two issues might be completely unrelated but i don't think so. I believe there are underestimated effects to the participation trophy philosophy, telling children that winning doesn't matter and suggesting that kids who play on top teams aren't happy. I completely understand that competitive sports aren't for everyone and every child should play at their own level, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about parents who intentionally hold their kids back and convince them they will be happier to play at lower levels, just like Mr Underachiever.

1.) Sounds like a millennial...
2.) He had lazy parents...
3.) That person has no business in sales...
4.) The best sales people are highly competitive and for that are usually highly compensated.
5.) The everyone gets a trophy mentality is what is wrong with our country... I genuinely don't like people that have that mindset. There are going to be winners and losers and that is perfectly ok! Being in a losing situation should be a teaching lesson to get better or change. So often we see people just giving up because it has become acceptable in society. Good luck to them. However, my kids will live in reality.

I think there's a lot of middle ground. My kid plays on a mid level team. Striving to be better and having a "puncher's chance" against the top clubs is as good as it gets. And, given geography, her desire to compete at a high level in other sports, etc. I'm OK with her not being on a top team. It just is not pleasant to see them strive to get to a semifinal and clearly see the wall that they're going to hit from now until they quit playing competitive soccer. It's crystal clear and not surmountable with the tools that they have. That said, kids, coaches, parents, etc. all (most) have a clear view of that wall. And, these girls will all be just fine when it comes to high school soccer.

I can see both sides of this one. It really depends on what a family is willing and able to throw into this world of ours. Going back and playing a more comfortable Rec schedule would be more difficult for me to watch and would prepare them less for school ball. And, honestly, it would probably prepare them less for life.

I love it! Let's not set any goals. That's what successful people do! I will say there is way too much emphasis placed on team. As a parent you should be selfish and always keep your own child's development above the team. Get them with a coach that infuses your child with confidence and emphasizes skill at an early age. I would definitely choose a coach that motivated my child to be better over one with a good reputation and no interest in my child. All that being said, it is nice to have your child play on a better team with better players. Sometimes they get better just playing with better players.
I guess it depends on your motivation for wanting to win. They do have a league that where winning doesn't matter. It's called recreational soccer. If you don't really care about winning why not play rec. Parent ego that's why!

My kid is not a top level player - like an ECNL level. She's a very good player but not a great player. I could pay $150/month in soccer, $200/month in softball and $300/month in basketball for her to be playing at the proper level for all of her sports and travel over an hour for practices. We've looked into them each individually. It's just not practical. And, none of the three coaches that took in that $/month would want her playing the other sports. She's going to play at least two of them in high school so we try to titrate her playing at the highest general level in all three sports. I think you just have to be reasonable about the expectations. That's not embracing losing.

We could take our top 7-9 players and go to Tulsa and be a better team with better kids around them but they're going to play high school ball with these girls so it make sense to try to develop the herd as much as possible.

To play Rec would be a waste of everyone's time. One of my older girls was VERY skilled but didn't have the drive/desire/heart to compete at the level commensurate to her skills but wanted to play. She played Rec for a season and it was sad.